How Would a Parent React if Their Daughter Wants to Marry an Orthodox Jewish Man?

I would hope that I would have had the chance to meet the man and understand his story. Trusting my daughter to make her own decisions is crucial, especially when they involve a choice that may seem unconventional or challenging. As my daughter is 22, I believe it's vital for her to learn from her mistakes rather than judge her myself. If she chooses to marry an Orthodox Jewish man, I would be there to support her and guide her where necessary. My life may not have afforded me the opportunity to learn more about Orthodox Jews, but this is a non-issue compared to the deep connection and love I would have for my daughter.

A Shared Experience: Disappointment and Alienation

Mirroring the experience of an Orthodox Jewish father, if my daughter chose an atheist for her partner, I would experience a similar level of disappointment. Let's call this father Asher. Both Asher and I want our children to live in the way we raised them, believing it to be the best path. We would both feel that we failed to impart our values effectively. Despite our disagreement with the values of the partner, our main concern would be the well-being of our future grandchildren and how they would be raised. We would both feel alienated from the new lifestyle our child has chosen.

“If it’s not offensive for my father to be heartbroken that I rejected his lifestyle, it’s not offensive for me to feel the same if my child rejects my lifestyle.”

Leaving behind the world I once lived in to see my child return would be heart wrenching. However, I genuinely believe that atheism offers a more moral lifestyle in the same way that Orthodox Jews feel they are leading a more moral life. Despite these differing beliefs, my priority would be to love and accept my daughter's choices, just as my own father did for me.

Breaking the Mold: Marriages Within the Jewish Community

Interestingly, although marriages between Jewish men and non-Jewish women are not considered traditional, a rare exception exists. In the case of an Orthodox Jewish man marrying a non-Jewish woman, the woman's choice to convert to Judaism can significantly affect the marriage. The belief is that the female 'Jews' or 'de-Jews' the sperm, influencing its religious status.

Is this behavior offensive or merely interesting to me? Given my non-religious perspective, this might come as a surprise, but even if I don't personally care, I would still find it amusing. The inner workings of interfaith marriages can be incredibly fascinating, and this case is no exception. The cultural and religious dynamics make such situations inherently intriguing.

Exploring Religious Perspectives: Good People and Evil People

Religion, as society understands it, can sometimes be a double-edged sword. The renowned physicist and Nobel laureate, Steven Weinberg, once stated, 'Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.'

Reflecting on this quote, it seems that religion may be more about the actions it inspires in people rather than the inherent good or evil. This perspective might not align with traditional views, but it offers a fresh interpretation. Therefore, whether my daughter marries someone of any religion, my primary concern would be her happiness and well-being.

In conclusion, while the cultural and religious dynamics of interfaith marriages can be complex, the love and respect a parent has for their child remain the most important factors. No matter the choice, supporting and accepting one's daughter is paramount.